The First Pregnancy

1. Make time to rest

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It's a simple thing, but sometimes so difficult to take time out for yourself. Not only is this good for you, but also extremely good for your baby - so don't feel guilty about 'doing nothing'.
It is ok to say “no” when you don’t have the energy to take on extra chores even if you do have the time.
At work, find somewhere to put your feet up and relax during your lunch break and, in the evenings, try to cut down on chores. Let your husband handle the laundry, and forget about housework for a while. Obviously, if you have a child already it can be hard to find the time to rest, so why not get your husband, a friend or grandparents to amuse him for an afternoon, while you have a well-earned break?

2. Antenatal yoga

Yoga during pregnancy not only helps tone your body, but the relaxation techniques that will assist you in labour can have a beneficial effect during pregnancy. If you are prone to feelings of anxiety or have experienced panic attacks, practising your breathing techniques can really help.

3. Talk about it

If you are worried about whether your baby is healthy or whether he will be born safely, you're certainly not alone. Talking about these concerns will really help, whether it's with your husband, mother or a friend who already has children. Other women at the same stage of pregnancy as you, perhaps at your antenatal class, will undoubtedly share your concerns and your doctor can also reassure you.
Sharing your worries on our pregnancy board could also help.

4. Relaxation and complementary therapies

Massage in pregnancy is a fantastic way to de-stress. If you are using aromatherapy or essential oils, it's important to make sure they are safe for use in pregnancy as some are not suitable for the first or third trimester. Oils safe for use after 20 weeks include most lavender oils, citrus oils and ylang ylang, but you should check with a qualified aromatherapist.
Reflexology is also a lovely way to relax, but make sure the therapist is qualified in working with pregnant women. Some mums-to-be find that Bach Flower Remedies can help with feelings of stress or panic, particularly the Walnut Remedy and the Rescue Remedy.
Meditation and positive visualisation techniques can also help. Meditation is a way of relaxing by concentrating on a mental focus, and positive visualisation is a technique for releasing anxieties by creating an inner picture of a peaceful scene. You can find books in your library which show you how to relax in this way if you haven't tried it before. Buy some special relaxation tapes to play in the background - great for helping your mind switch off. Choose a time when you know you won't be disturbed and try to give yourself at least 30 minutes.

5. Preparing for the birth

You may be worrying about the impending labour and how you will cope with the pain, whether you will make a fool of yourself or how your husband will cope. Find out about the mechanics of labour as well as the physical and emotional aspects of each phase by signing up for antenatal classes, reading books and magazines and gathering information from BabyCenter. Being informed will help you feel more confident and in control.
It will also help to visit the labour and delivery rooms of the hospital where you plan to have your baby beforehand, so that you know what to expect.
For a few women, the fear of childbirth can be so overwhelming that they would rather have a caesarean section than a normal delivery. This fear is known as 'tocophobia' and is not uncommon. Tell your doctor about your fears. Research has shown this can be helped with the right counselling and support; cognitive behavioural therapy is one of options available which might help.

6. Relationship changes

It's perfectly understandable to worry about how having a baby will affect your relationship with your partner or how you will cope as a parent. Parenting is something you learn along the way and often there is no right or wrong way to do things, you just have to do what feels right for you. Try and spend some time with a friend who has a young baby to pick up some useful tips and ideas. If you have any anxieties about your finances, job, relationship or housing, speak to your friends and family for advice.

7. Commuting strategies

Like a lot of women these days, you may plan on working until just a few weeks before your due date because you want more time off with your baby after he's born. Commuting can be one of the major sources of stress for expectant mums and one which is made worse the more heavily pregnant you are.
Ask your employer if you can avoid rush hours, particularly if you use public transport. Perhaps starting work earlier and finishing earlier would be possible, or even working from home one or two days a week.
Make sure you always sit down while travelling and if you are not offered a seat you should ask for one. Don't feel embarrassed - it's really not safe to be swinging around in a train or bus - and most people are more than willing to give up their seats, they just need to be reminded sometimes!

8. Money matters

The knock-on effect of having a baby is the dent it makes in your finances. If you have debts to repay--especially credit card debt-- it may be a good idea to pay off your dues before your baby arrives. If you are worried about how you are going to afford everything, make a list of the items you need - in order of priority - then decide which ones you could borrow from friends or family. It really isn't necessary to buy everything, particularly when some items are often only used for a couple of months.
Make sure you get your full entitlement of maternity leave and pay. Find out what it is from your human resources department and don't be afraid to seek further help if you need more advice.

9. Diet and exercise

Eating calming nutrients can help suppress the hormones that rise at times of stress. Foods containing B vitamins, such as yeast extract, wholegrain bread and wholegrain rice, increase your levels of the anti-stress hormone serotonin. Ensuring that you eat well in pregnancy is very important.
Physical exercise also has proven benefits in terms of relieving tension, so continue with the exercise you did before you were pregnant -- so long as it is safe for you to do so. If you're in any doubt, check with your doctor. If you attend exercise classes, always inform your teacher that you are pregnant.
Swimming is the perfect exercise for pregnancy as it keeps you toned and healthy, without being too hard on your joints, although be careful with excessive breaststroke as it may cause backache. Aquarobics classes for pregnant women are also a fun way of keeping fit.
Walking is a wonderful way to stay fit during pregnancy—go for a relaxing walk in the neighbourhood park. At work, make sure you get up and walk around regularly, especially if your job is mainly desk-bound, and pop out at lunchtime for some fresh air, even if it's only for ten minutes.

10.Treat yourself

Laughter is one of the body's best ways of relaxing, so meet up with some friends or go to the cinema and see the latest comedy.
Go on a weekend break and make the most of your time with just you and your husband, or treat yourself to a spa that offers treatments for pregnant women.
Pregnancy is also the perfect time to treat yourself to all those beauty treatments you never normally splash out on. Be nice to yourself - you deserve it.